Communications Pro Blog

Another Magical Day
By Barbara Sherf

Despite the heavy rain, the day started on an up note with a meeting of the Professional Care Alliance of the Delaware Valley. There I met some very interesting individuals who deal with the senior population; a target audience for my new Memoir Writing and DVD offerings.
The meeting was hosted at the lovely BrightView Independent & Assisted Living facility in East Norriton. Community Sales Directors Lynn Degenhart and Vicki Bosler graciously served as our hosts. The made-to-order omelets were a huge hit among the 60 or so attendees.
I was invited to the meeting by my new networking buddy Jennie Zehmer of Here 2 Home. I met Jennie at a recent National Association of Women Business Owners meeting and decided she’d be a good person to network with. “Where do you live or work from?” I asked following the meeting. “Flourtown,” came her response. She is a neighbor who provides a service helping seniors move from their primary residence into a retirement community. Although she shared a neat story today about helping an elderly woman move into her boyfriend’s home. Too funny. I love good stories. That’s a good story and a hook for a press release I’m writing about her and her company.
The program, is typically run by Mimsye Katz of Katz Senior Services, who was unable to attend and moderate the meeting. I had met Mimsye the previous week when she came out to a Memoir Writing program I gave at Spring Mill Presbyterian Village and she encouraged me to join the group as a handful of members were sharing what they are passionate about. Typically I like to go to a meeting before joining a group, but based on Jennie’s recommendation and the fact that I wanted to share my passion for memoir writing and DVDs, I signed up on Monday night. Karen Devine of Medical Home Care capably moderated the meeting and graciously agreed to let me talk about my passion, even though she was just going on my word that I had signed on as a member. I guess I look trustworthy or something. You should read my previous blog on “Would You Lend a Stranger $35?” Somebody did for me. True story.
Paula Goy-Severino of Liberty Lutheran Services kicked off the passion part of the program by speaking about her passion for dressing professionally and using good etiquette in the business world and in life. So often we race to send e-mails out, but do we even take the time to address the person by name and sign off properly. Or do we just get to the business at hand? Good points and Paula was passionate in her delivery. As a public relations specialist and speech coach, I found her remarks refreshing.
Next up was Felcia Benson of Medical Home Care who shared her passion in the form of her farm full of rescued animals in Coatesville, Pennsylvania. She has had a number of health issues that appear to be under control at the moment, but instead of having children, she and her husband put all of their money into this farm where they have all kind of rescued animals, including two horses – one that is half blind. If you’ve read my previous posts on Spot the blind horse and his subsequent death, you know I have a soft spot for blind horses. Slides of the animals appeared on screen and she shared her story and their stories. It was really touching and a unique format in which members got to share something about themselves instead of their primary work.
John Hist, who has a company called Select Senior Service Providers shared stories about helping his mother get on track with her bill paying and how he helps seniors make good choices regarding retirement communities, elder attorneys and any industry that provides services to seniors. His stories were moving and from the heart. Clearly he has a passion for his work.
A woman by the name of Negar (rhymes with guitar) Jahanbin, Director of Operations for Synergy Home Care, then shared her passion for drum circles and she introduced the concept to the audience. We had fun drumming, clapping and beating on the table. The audience was really jazzed. How could I top that?
I told the group that I do public relations and speech coaching on most days, but a new area I have gotten into is helping seniors get their life stories on paper and DVD. I shared how I had done this with my father and we co-authored a book called: Cowboy Mission: The Best Sermons are Lived…Not Preached.” The book, initially intended for just the family, is now in its 6th printing and ‘Charlie’ is hopping around South Jersey doing book signings and author readings. You can get a copy on www.blurb.com. I explained how this new area of my business is really a passion and that it is something I’d like to pursue. My message was very well received.
Then it was Jennie’s time to shine – and she did because she is passionate about what she does. I saw her in action when taking publicity photos recentl yand I saw that what she really brings to the table, in addition to passion and compassion, is her sense of humor.
After Jennie gave her fabulous talk, individuals lined up asking for more information about both of our companies. It was indeed a magical day with a magical group.
But the day continued to get magical. My husband and I had gone furniture shopping and then for a bite to eat. I had the good fortune of bringing an umbrella into the restaurant with me, and upon leaving the eatery we saw that the umbrella was absolutely needed. So he offered to use it to go to the car and come pick me up. Once he did this deed, I handed the umbrella off to another couple who were waiting under the overhang for the rain to slow down. They were shocked that I would give them the umbrella. Truth be told, it had seen better days and my favorite horse umbrella was still in our vehicle. As a matter of fact, I have been doing this for about a year now. It’s called My Umbrella Project. There is no web site. The concept is simple: whenever I see inexpensive umbrellas I buy a bunch and stick them in my car. When it’s really raining hard, I’ll pull up to somebody standing at a bus stop and hand them an umbrella. I don’t attach my contact information. I just tell them to pass it along. You should try it. It’s really fun. Now I even look forward to rainy days! There is a story about how this came about (having nothing to do with me standing in the rain)…but I suspect it is the subject of another blog.
From there I wanted to see if BJ’s had a book Oprah recommended called “Women, Food and God.” As I was entering the store, I noticed a woman’s purse left in a cart. That could have been my purse, I thought, and quickly snatched it. I didn’t go through the purse, but clearly a cell phone was popping out of the outside pouch and so I grabbed it and called the last number dialed that was marked “Mom and Dad.” The phone rang and it was actually the woman’s sister who answered. I told her where I was and she said that it must have been her sister’s purse. We had a laugh over the fact that her sister is also named Barbara. She said she’d try to call her sister at home, which she did, but there was no answer. I offered to return the purse to the owner, but the sister said she’d come up to BJs instead. So I stood outside of BJs for 10 minutes and handed off the bag. I know in my heart, as someone who had her purse stolen once, that I made somebody’s life a tad easier. I handed the sister a business card I had made up of our rescued golden retriever, Simba, and suggested that if she felt compelled, Barbara could make a donation to the Delaware Valley Golden Retriever Rescue.
Then it was off to get a quick haircut and upon leaving the Flourtown Shopping Center I stumbled upon a family of four walking into a storefront with a sign Martial Arts out front. As a former print and broadcast journalist, who still occasionally writes for The Chestnut Hill Local, I followed them in and discovered this fabulous individual who has quite a following -and for obvious reasons.
Ran Zohar runs Personal Power for Martial Arts. He shared with me that he came to this country from Israel as a child. He studied martial arts since he was 8 and had a dream of one day owning his own martial arts facility. He and his family have been in business for nearly 15 years, and in Flourtown for just over a year. Business in mid-July seemed brisk and with good reason.
Parents I talked to said that not only are their kids getting in shape, they are learning discipline and building their self confidence. I am hooked on the whole concept and will be writing a story for the Chestnut Hill Local and helping Ran with PR. I also hope to be writing about my experiences going through his program. Stay tuned.
Ran also shared with me a new web site he has put together called PhillyKidsClub.com. His idea is to get child-oriented businesses together to cross promote and pollinate. Right now the site is free and it is really very professional with videos of the 14-year-old host named Isabella Pelle, of Ambler, who has a third degree black belt and teaches at the school. She has been taking Ran’s classes since she was 6 and has quite a presence. Hhhmmm, could I incorporate the martial arts into our Public Speaking Boot Camps. Anyway, Ran and this gal and this site, are going places and they are taking me along for the ride. Mark my words. Buckle your seatbelts and way we go!

Barbara Sherf is a communications professional who started CommunicationsPro.com nearly 14 years ago. She helps individuals with speech coaching, public relations and now capturing their life stories. She welcomes your comments.

I received an e-mail tonight from a colleague I have known for about four years. We’ve done some work together and I babysat for his two young boys a few times; most recently about a month ago.

The e-mail informed me that his young wife was recently diagnosed with breast cancer asked whether I would consider pitching in to help during this difficult time. He included a link to the web site http://www.LotsaHelpingHands.com. I’ve spent some time on the site and can only say “Wow, what a wonderful use of technology!” The service is designed to make coordinating volunteers easy and efficient. There is a calendar that shows tasks that need doing and whether or not they have been filled.

So with a few mouse clicks I was able to sign on offering to drive, cook, babysit, fold laundry and pray, pray, pray. While the family has health insurance, they will have to pay 20 percent out of pocket, and a fund has been set up to take donations.

Jazz Bridge Project
Daphne Fund
3008 Limekiln Pike
Glenside, PA 19038

Do you know someone who could benefit from a site like this? If so, please spread the word and pray, pray, pray.

By Barbara L. Sherf
I was honored to have been part of a press tour of the Late Renoir exhibit at the Philadelphia Museum or Art (PMA) this past Friday.  I must agree with the late Albert C. Barnes, who assembled an exquisite collection of Pierre-Auguste Renoir paintings on display at the Barnes Foundation Museum in Merion.   Barnes felt that as Renoir aged, he mastered the use of light, color and form. Born in 1841, Renoir died on December 3, 1919, having worked on a still life of flowers earlier in the day.  According to Curator Jennifer Thompson, he handed his paintbrush and palette to his nurse, declaring “I think I am beginning to understand something about painting.”  The room full of media representatives turned unusually silent and I got goosebumps listening to that quote.  I have been thinking about that statement and the exhibit much of the weekend.

The show features 79 original works by Renoir and 14 by his admirers. Unlike his earlier works, consisting  primarily of landscapes, in the later years you will find primarily portraits and sculptures of nudes. The full-figured women bathing and dressing were refreshing in this era of ‘thin is in.’  While the exhibit was superbly curated by Thompson, the real treat awaits you at the end, where you can view old black and white silent film clips of Renoir painting, smoking, and generally looking like he was enjoying life – despite his severe arthritis.  On my way out of the gallery

Renoir "Bathers Playing with a Crab" at Philadelphia Museum of Art

I decided to treat myself to a lovely lunch at the restaurant and listened to an amazing jazz duo.  Their seafood cocktail was quite refreshing and my server, Deran, turned out to be a true Southern gentleman.  What a  lovely way to start the weekend.   If you live in or around Philadelphia, you must treat yourself to the Late Renoir exhibit at the Philadelphia Museum of Art.   For more information, go to www.philamuseum.org.
Note: A fuller article, with some interesting Mount Airy and Chestnut Hill connections, is being researched and written for The Chestnut Hill Local.  It will be posted here following publication.

As some of you know my 21-year-old niece has epilepsy. Last year I participated in the Epilepsy Foundation of Eastern Pennsylvania’s Summer Stroll in Fairmount Park http://www.efepa.org. It rained, and rained, and rained some more. Fortunately my sister had rain ponchos in her car for the five of us who made up Becky’s Buddies. We walked from Northwestern Avenue and Forbidden Drive to the Valley Green Inn and back again.

We were delirious toward the end of the walk and resorted to singing “Row, Row, Row Your Boat” and “It’s Raining Men.” The fact that it rained so hard really made a lasting memory – and a good one at that. Another highlight of the walk was finding a Port-a-Potty about halfway to the Inn, but realizing that it was locked! I couldn’t make this stuff up.

I’ll never forget the look on the face of the waitress at Bruno’s Café when the five us marched in to get some lunch after the walk. We looked like drowned rats.

I will again be participating in the event on Saturday, June 19th. Some of you live close to Forbidden Drive and I thought you might want to join me on Saturday, June 19th – rain or shine.

We gather at Northwestern Avenue and Forbidden Drive around 8:30 or so and by 9, our team, Becky’s Buddies, will stroll down to the Valley Green Inn and back. If you want to start your own group, you can do that too.

Despite the downpour, we really had a swell time last year. This year we should have even more fun as my niece is bringing her little Cockapoo, Cody. Since Becky got Cody around this time last year, I’m happy to report she has not had a single seizure. Oh the power of pets.

So please follow the link for additional information and possibly take a stroll with us for a good cause.

http://www.strollforepilepsypa.kintera.org/barbarasherf

Thanks for whatever you can do to get the word out.

Barbara Sherf

By Barbara Lee Sherf

First of all, let me set the record straight, I am not dude. So many blog comments come over saying “hey dude, great blog ya got there…blah, blah, blah.” Even though the content of the comment may be complimentary, I refuse to post these comments. I am not a dude.

Second point. About half of the comments I receive I refuse to post because of poor grammar, spelling, punctuation, etc.

Below are three samples I recently received and refused to post.. I did not, nor could I ever make these up:

1) You got a indeed useful blog I compel ought to been here reading in behalf of about an hour. I am a newbie and your success is very much an insight in behalf of me.

2) I was looking instead of pivotal information on this subject. The advice was important as I am nigh to launch my own portal. Thanks conducive to providing a missing associate in my business.

3) great experience, dude! thanks for this great post wow… it’s very wonderful report.

I guess you can call me a blog comment snob, but I believe that approving these kinds of comments reflects poorly on me. A few have slipped through early on, and I am now going back to take a second look and delete with a more critical eye.

So if you would like to comment on my blog and see it posted, please use spell and grammar check, proper capitalization and punctuation.

Thank you.

We gave a talk today about LinkedIn. I think the group was surprised when I shared that I don’t LinkIn to someone unless I have actually had a face-to-face meeting or a decent phone conversation with them.
I see so many people competitively collecting connections as if they are going for some prize – and in the long run, I think these folks are really losing out –big time.
I would much rather have quality connections versus quantity connections in life and social networking.
There are two or three people on my LinkedIn connections who seem to have connected with the world. Yet when I approached one of these individuals recently to see if they could open the door and pick up the phone to introduce me to one of their connections, the response was – ‘well, I really don’t know him well enough to do that.’ Then why on earth are you LinkedIn to that person. It’s just a waste of time really.
So the next time someone asks you to LinkIn, ask yourself, do I know this person well enough to pick up the phone and open the door for them to one of my connections. If the answer is no, just don’t do it.

We are just back from the Main Line Chamber of Commerce’s Society of Professional Women, held last night at the Radisson in King of Prussia. The topic of the talk was “What Not to Wear to Work.” Three brave women within the SPW ranks were ‘nominated’ for makeovers. The panel did a fantastic job in terms of co-presenting. Often co-presenters step on one another’s toes, but in this case they all worked together as a team.
Megan Kristel of Kristel Closets served as the moderator and fielded questions to Beke Beau, a Make-up Artist, and Van Ou, owner of Bubbles Salon in Bryn Mawr. Audience members went to a central microphone to pose their question, which was so much better than having audience members shout out their questions.
Co-presenting or being a part of a panel discussion takes a lot of pressure off of you as a public speaker. The event was very well organized and just a fun evening of networking and receiving valuable image information. Kudos to the Main Line Chamber and the Makeover Team.

Just back from a professional meeting of trainers in the Greater Philadelphia area. The speaker, who was billed as a public speaking expert, failed to deliver on so many fronts. Her topic was Web 2.0. So I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised when their were two screens set up with projectors aimed at each screen. But what I wasn’t expecting were animations coming at me left and right. My head still hurts.

The lights were fully dimmed at the front of the room, so she was not able to make eye contact with her audience. The lights to the rear of the room were full blast and shining down on the audience, forcing us to strip layer upon layer of clothing off. It was not pretty.

There was no attention getting opening. There was no personal story. There was little to know gesturing or vocal variety. There was no connection with 97 percent of her audience. The 3 percent who tuned into her were geeks who stole her show.

Forty minutes into the presentation I stopped taking notes and shutdown. I wrote a note to a colleague who drove into the city with me that my head hurt and I would meet him in the lobby when he had had enough. He was through too. Just as we made the decision to bolt, the fire alarm went off. Saved by the bell and we were out the door before the announcement came on that it was a false alarm.

Usually I would try to stay through the presentation and give the speaker the benefit of the doubt. However, this was a classic case of knowing when to fold.

According to a Gallup poll, more Americans fear public speaking than they do death. A full 96 million of those polled put public speaking at the top of their list of fears, followed by death as a close second.

Sometimes the fear is warranted. If you don’t develop your message and properly plan for your speech, you will have butterflies, dry mouth and a shaky voice. To relieve the tension, make sure you have put in the proper amount of planning and practice time for your talk.

On-Site
Once you are at the event, set up early, even if you have to set up, walk away, and come back at the appointed time. If you are using your own laptop for a PowerPoint presentation, make sure you have the proper cables to hook into a projector. If you are using someone else’s laptop, send them a copy of the PowerPoint well in advance to ensure that your version is compatible with their machine.

Co-present
If you have someone you can co-present with, it takes a lot of pressure off of you as the sole presenter. However, you must practice with the co-presenter to make sure you don’t step on each other’s toes. If you have access to a wire-free lavaliere microphone, you will be able to roam some and not be stuck presenting behind the podium.

Don’t Hide
Station yourself at or near the door to greet and get to know your audience. You might ask if you could sit in on the group’s meeting a month or so before your talk to get to know your audience.

Dealing with Stomach Butterflies
Do deep breathing exercises and repeat this mantra: “I am relaxed, confident, and calm.” Do not try to calm down by using alcohol or drugs. Also, the old saying of visualizing your audience in their underwear really doesn’t work.

Develop a strong opening statement that connects with the audience and memorize this statement. Make sure you have some Imodium or other anti-diarrhea medication on hand just in case you need it. Take it in advance of the speech if you feel your insides caving in. The last thing you want to do is excuse yourself to deal with intestinal issues.

Dry Mouth
Take a glass or bottle of water to the podium and take a gulp as you are being introduced. You might consider a small mint, like a Tic Tac, placed strategically inside your cheek. Do not suck on a full-size mint as you will only distract your audience. If all else fails, bite your tongue to stimulate saliva.

Wardrobe
You should wear comfortable and polished shoes – your feet help “balance” your voice. If wearing a tie, don’t tighten the knot too much as it will effect your breathing and intonation. Remove keys and change from your pockets so that you don’t jingle them and distract the audience.

Do not wear anything too flashy that might detract from your message; This includes low cut blouses, mini-skirts and dangling earrings. If you are not used to wearing high heels, then don’t try to on the day of your speech – you will be focusing on your aching feet and not your message. Control top pantyhose will inhibit your ability to breathe and relax.

Pregnant pauses
Ask a friend to count your “ums” and “ahs” and practice replacing them with pregnant pauses in which you simply breathe deeply for a second or two. Use pregnant pauses particularly while fielding questions, and definitely repeat the question so that the whole audience can hear it. Remember, a question is your opportunity to reinforce your message to the audience.

Practice, Practice, Practice
Sign up for a six-month membership at a local Toastmasters Club. At these meetings you can practice your speeches in a supportive environment. The more you present, the less you will stress when going to a podium.

The more you get used to doing presentations, the less stressful they will become. Even after doing hundreds of presentations, we still get a bit nervous before a presentation. After all, we are only human. Don’t be too hard on yourself.

I babysit for two boys not far from my home twice a month. I don’t do it for the money. I do it because my three nieces and three nephews are pretty well grown up and I really, really like children. These boys let me get back to my inner child, and that’s a good thing. They don’t watch TV and the older one visits the web on rare, supervised occasions.
So when I visit their lovely Victorian home every other week, we simply play. Sometimes we play a game we made up called the Magical Maze of Mystery on the trampoline. Other nights we play Uno, or Candyland, or Twister! What fun. Their mom usually goes to the library or for a bike ride or cross country skiing and leaves us to our play. She usually prepares a nice (mostly) vegetarian meal and I finish it off and serve. After the dishes are done, we play some more. Fusball, freeze tag, Chutes and Ladders – are all fare game.
Recently there has been a haze over all of this. First, the family car was accidentally left unlocked one night and some creep took two backpacks and some small change. Their mother thought she might have had a spare key in the vehicle, so the locks were changed too. Then the next door neighbor’s home was burglarized. Not good.
This is where the power of suggestion comes into play.
My husband informed me that a gas station, in between their home and ours, had been robbed at gunpoint at dusk one night. He reminded me of this as I was leaving for my play date on a Wednesday night, which is not my typical night to sit.
The older boy was psyched to go with his Mom and his friend to a book signing and talk by an author they were big fans of. It was the first time the younger boy, age 5, and I would be home alone together.
I approached their home and saw my lively crew on the deck having an early dinner. We chatted for a spell. Life was calming down to their pace; no cell phones, no Internet, now worries, or so I thought. Then, while the younger boy was seeing the group off out front, I went back to my car at the rear of the property to retrieve my cell phone ‘just in case of an emergency.’ He was out front for all of two minutes, and I was back and forth to my Jeep in that time. But the doors were open and that could have been enough time for someone to enter the home. I didn’t think about it at the time, but once we were inside I suspected we weren’t alone. Something just didn’t feel right. I thought I heard noises.
We played a storytelling game for a while and then I suggested we write the story down and illustrate it. My young study was all game. As we were in the process of putting ‘our book’ together, I absolutely did hear noises upstairs. I left him alone and went to explore. The noises were not coming from the family cat as she was clearly in sight by the window – one of many windows and doors in this house. I went up the stairs and continued to hear noises, and then some moaning in the master bath. I announced myself and said I was calling the police. The only response was more muffled moaning. My heart raced and I will be the first to admit that panic set in. I picked up a Swiffer mop in the hallway as my only defense, and ran down the stairs with phone in hand ready to call 911.
I told my charge that someone was in the house and we should go quietly out the side door. His eyes grew wide, but he trusted and followed me. I called the police. Why wouldn’t I?
Once on the side of the house, I felt safer and as I was giving details to the dispatcher I noted that there was a strange car in the front driveway. The boy tugged on my now perspiration-drenched sundress and told me it was the cleaning lady’s car. Ding. I felt like a fool and told the dispatcher that I think we solved the mystery. Still, because it was a 911 call, they needed to send an officer out. I went in and confronted and then apologized to the cleaning woman, who had been upstairs for some time and the boy figured she had left. The moaning I heard was from her trying to scrub mildew off the stall shower, which is why she didn’t hear me. The mother and older boy, in their rush to get to the book signing, failed to tell me that someone else was in the home. We all had a good laugh about it after the fact.
The younger boy now had bragging rights to tell his older brother that the cops showed up and he had talked to them while his older sibling had missed out on all of the excitement by going to ‘some silly book signing.’
The whole episode raises the issue of the power of suggestion. Do you find yourself reading the business pages and hearing how bad the economy is, and using it as an excuse when you don’t get a piece of work? If you say you are hot and cranky, you and others around you, tend to become hot and cranky. Before I get up to give a talk, I have a mantra I say over and over again. “I am relaxed, confident, and calm.” It generally works. Next time, use the power of suggestion to your advantage and see if it works in a positive way.