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Archive for the ‘Storytelling’ Category

Another Magical Day
By Barbara Sherf

Despite the heavy rain, the day started on an up note with a meeting of the Professional Care Alliance of the Delaware Valley. There I met some very interesting individuals who deal with the senior population; a target audience for my new Memoir Writing and DVD offerings.
The meeting was hosted at the lovely BrightView Independent & Assisted Living facility in East Norriton. Community Sales Directors Lynn Degenhart and Vicki Bosler graciously served as our hosts. The made-to-order omelets were a huge hit among the 60 or so attendees.
I was invited to the meeting by my new networking buddy Jennie Zehmer of Here 2 Home. I met Jennie at a recent National Association of Women Business Owners meeting and decided she’d be a good person to network with. “Where do you live or work from?” I asked following the meeting. “Flourtown,” came her response. She is a neighbor who provides a service helping seniors move from their primary residence into a retirement community. Although she shared a neat story today about helping an elderly woman move into her boyfriend’s home. Too funny. I love good stories. That’s a good story and a hook for a press release I’m writing about her and her company.
The program, is typically run by Mimsye Katz of Katz Senior Services, who was unable to attend and moderate the meeting. I had met Mimsye the previous week when she came out to a Memoir Writing program I gave at Spring Mill Presbyterian Village and she encouraged me to join the group as a handful of members were sharing what they are passionate about. Typically I like to go to a meeting before joining a group, but based on Jennie’s recommendation and the fact that I wanted to share my passion for memoir writing and DVDs, I signed up on Monday night. Karen Devine of Medical Home Care capably moderated the meeting and graciously agreed to let me talk about my passion, even though she was just going on my word that I had signed on as a member. I guess I look trustworthy or something. You should read my previous blog on “Would You Lend a Stranger $35?” Somebody did for me. True story.
Paula Goy-Severino of Liberty Lutheran Services kicked off the passion part of the program by speaking about her passion for dressing professionally and using good etiquette in the business world and in life. So often we race to send e-mails out, but do we even take the time to address the person by name and sign off properly. Or do we just get to the business at hand? Good points and Paula was passionate in her delivery. As a public relations specialist and speech coach, I found her remarks refreshing.
Next up was Felcia Benson of Medical Home Care who shared her passion in the form of her farm full of rescued animals in Coatesville, Pennsylvania. She has had a number of health issues that appear to be under control at the moment, but instead of having children, she and her husband put all of their money into this farm where they have all kind of rescued animals, including two horses – one that is half blind. If you’ve read my previous posts on Spot the blind horse and his subsequent death, you know I have a soft spot for blind horses. Slides of the animals appeared on screen and she shared her story and their stories. It was really touching and a unique format in which members got to share something about themselves instead of their primary work.
John Hist, who has a company called Select Senior Service Providers shared stories about helping his mother get on track with her bill paying and how he helps seniors make good choices regarding retirement communities, elder attorneys and any industry that provides services to seniors. His stories were moving and from the heart. Clearly he has a passion for his work.
A woman by the name of Negar (rhymes with guitar) Jahanbin, Director of Operations for Synergy Home Care, then shared her passion for drum circles and she introduced the concept to the audience. We had fun drumming, clapping and beating on the table. The audience was really jazzed. How could I top that?
I told the group that I do public relations and speech coaching on most days, but a new area I have gotten into is helping seniors get their life stories on paper and DVD. I shared how I had done this with my father and we co-authored a book called: Cowboy Mission: The Best Sermons are Lived…Not Preached.” The book, initially intended for just the family, is now in its 6th printing and ‘Charlie’ is hopping around South Jersey doing book signings and author readings. You can get a copy on www.blurb.com. I explained how this new area of my business is really a passion and that it is something I’d like to pursue. My message was very well received.
Then it was Jennie’s time to shine – and she did because she is passionate about what she does. I saw her in action when taking publicity photos recentl yand I saw that what she really brings to the table, in addition to passion and compassion, is her sense of humor.
After Jennie gave her fabulous talk, individuals lined up asking for more information about both of our companies. It was indeed a magical day with a magical group.
But the day continued to get magical. My husband and I had gone furniture shopping and then for a bite to eat. I had the good fortune of bringing an umbrella into the restaurant with me, and upon leaving the eatery we saw that the umbrella was absolutely needed. So he offered to use it to go to the car and come pick me up. Once he did this deed, I handed the umbrella off to another couple who were waiting under the overhang for the rain to slow down. They were shocked that I would give them the umbrella. Truth be told, it had seen better days and my favorite horse umbrella was still in our vehicle. As a matter of fact, I have been doing this for about a year now. It’s called My Umbrella Project. There is no web site. The concept is simple: whenever I see inexpensive umbrellas I buy a bunch and stick them in my car. When it’s really raining hard, I’ll pull up to somebody standing at a bus stop and hand them an umbrella. I don’t attach my contact information. I just tell them to pass it along. You should try it. It’s really fun. Now I even look forward to rainy days! There is a story about how this came about (having nothing to do with me standing in the rain)…but I suspect it is the subject of another blog.
From there I wanted to see if BJ’s had a book Oprah recommended called “Women, Food and God.” As I was entering the store, I noticed a woman’s purse left in a cart. That could have been my purse, I thought, and quickly snatched it. I didn’t go through the purse, but clearly a cell phone was popping out of the outside pouch and so I grabbed it and called the last number dialed that was marked “Mom and Dad.” The phone rang and it was actually the woman’s sister who answered. I told her where I was and she said that it must have been her sister’s purse. We had a laugh over the fact that her sister is also named Barbara. She said she’d try to call her sister at home, which she did, but there was no answer. I offered to return the purse to the owner, but the sister said she’d come up to BJs instead. So I stood outside of BJs for 10 minutes and handed off the bag. I know in my heart, as someone who had her purse stolen once, that I made somebody’s life a tad easier. I handed the sister a business card I had made up of our rescued golden retriever, Simba, and suggested that if she felt compelled, Barbara could make a donation to the Delaware Valley Golden Retriever Rescue.
Then it was off to get a quick haircut and upon leaving the Flourtown Shopping Center I stumbled upon a family of four walking into a storefront with a sign Martial Arts out front. As a former print and broadcast journalist, who still occasionally writes for The Chestnut Hill Local, I followed them in and discovered this fabulous individual who has quite a following -and for obvious reasons.
Ran Zohar runs Personal Power for Martial Arts. He shared with me that he came to this country from Israel as a child. He studied martial arts since he was 8 and had a dream of one day owning his own martial arts facility. He and his family have been in business for nearly 15 years, and in Flourtown for just over a year. Business in mid-July seemed brisk and with good reason.
Parents I talked to said that not only are their kids getting in shape, they are learning discipline and building their self confidence. I am hooked on the whole concept and will be writing a story for the Chestnut Hill Local and helping Ran with PR. I also hope to be writing about my experiences going through his program. Stay tuned.
Ran also shared with me a new web site he has put together called PhillyKidsClub.com. His idea is to get child-oriented businesses together to cross promote and pollinate. Right now the site is free and it is really very professional with videos of the 14-year-old host named Isabella Pelle, of Ambler, who has a third degree black belt and teaches at the school. She has been taking Ran’s classes since she was 6 and has quite a presence. Hhhmmm, could I incorporate the martial arts into our Public Speaking Boot Camps. Anyway, Ran and this gal and this site, are going places and they are taking me along for the ride. Mark my words. Buckle your seatbelts and way we go!

Barbara Sherf is a communications professional who started CommunicationsPro.com nearly 14 years ago. She helps individuals with speech coaching, public relations and now capturing their life stories. She welcomes your comments.

I babysit for two boys not far from my home twice a month. I don’t do it for the money. I do it because my three nieces and three nephews are pretty well grown up and I really, really like children. These boys let me get back to my inner child, and that’s a good thing. They don’t watch TV and the older one visits the web on rare, supervised occasions.
So when I visit their lovely Victorian home every other week, we simply play. Sometimes we play a game we made up called the Magical Maze of Mystery on the trampoline. Other nights we play Uno, or Candyland, or Twister! What fun. Their mom usually goes to the library or for a bike ride or cross country skiing and leaves us to our play. She usually prepares a nice (mostly) vegetarian meal and I finish it off and serve. After the dishes are done, we play some more. Fusball, freeze tag, Chutes and Ladders – are all fare game.
Recently there has been a haze over all of this. First, the family car was accidentally left unlocked one night and some creep took two backpacks and some small change. Their mother thought she might have had a spare key in the vehicle, so the locks were changed too. Then the next door neighbor’s home was burglarized. Not good.
This is where the power of suggestion comes into play.
My husband informed me that a gas station, in between their home and ours, had been robbed at gunpoint at dusk one night. He reminded me of this as I was leaving for my play date on a Wednesday night, which is not my typical night to sit.
The older boy was psyched to go with his Mom and his friend to a book signing and talk by an author they were big fans of. It was the first time the younger boy, age 5, and I would be home alone together.
I approached their home and saw my lively crew on the deck having an early dinner. We chatted for a spell. Life was calming down to their pace; no cell phones, no Internet, now worries, or so I thought. Then, while the younger boy was seeing the group off out front, I went back to my car at the rear of the property to retrieve my cell phone ‘just in case of an emergency.’ He was out front for all of two minutes, and I was back and forth to my Jeep in that time. But the doors were open and that could have been enough time for someone to enter the home. I didn’t think about it at the time, but once we were inside I suspected we weren’t alone. Something just didn’t feel right. I thought I heard noises.
We played a storytelling game for a while and then I suggested we write the story down and illustrate it. My young study was all game. As we were in the process of putting ‘our book’ together, I absolutely did hear noises upstairs. I left him alone and went to explore. The noises were not coming from the family cat as she was clearly in sight by the window – one of many windows and doors in this house. I went up the stairs and continued to hear noises, and then some moaning in the master bath. I announced myself and said I was calling the police. The only response was more muffled moaning. My heart raced and I will be the first to admit that panic set in. I picked up a Swiffer mop in the hallway as my only defense, and ran down the stairs with phone in hand ready to call 911.
I told my charge that someone was in the house and we should go quietly out the side door. His eyes grew wide, but he trusted and followed me. I called the police. Why wouldn’t I?
Once on the side of the house, I felt safer and as I was giving details to the dispatcher I noted that there was a strange car in the front driveway. The boy tugged on my now perspiration-drenched sundress and told me it was the cleaning lady’s car. Ding. I felt like a fool and told the dispatcher that I think we solved the mystery. Still, because it was a 911 call, they needed to send an officer out. I went in and confronted and then apologized to the cleaning woman, who had been upstairs for some time and the boy figured she had left. The moaning I heard was from her trying to scrub mildew off the stall shower, which is why she didn’t hear me. The mother and older boy, in their rush to get to the book signing, failed to tell me that someone else was in the home. We all had a good laugh about it after the fact.
The younger boy now had bragging rights to tell his older brother that the cops showed up and he had talked to them while his older sibling had missed out on all of the excitement by going to ‘some silly book signing.’
The whole episode raises the issue of the power of suggestion. Do you find yourself reading the business pages and hearing how bad the economy is, and using it as an excuse when you don’t get a piece of work? If you say you are hot and cranky, you and others around you, tend to become hot and cranky. Before I get up to give a talk, I have a mantra I say over and over again. “I am relaxed, confident, and calm.” It generally works. Next time, use the power of suggestion to your advantage and see if it works in a positive way.

Spot the Blind Horse

Spot, the blind horse I wrote about last December who was featured on the front page of the Chestnut Hill Local and served as my first blog subject, has gone to a better place. Even in the end, he was still teaching us lessons.

Spot was a nearly 30-year-old horse, who belonged to nobody and everybody at Northwestern Equestrian Facility (NWEF) in Chestnut Hill. He was a lesson horse for many years, carrying many riders on his back while he patiently tried to obey and understand their commands. Spot got his name because his undercoat, which you could only see when it was wet, had big brown spots show through his white overcoat.

In more recent years, Spot’s eyesight went and he was pretty well blind when I stumbled upon his story last fall. I had been doing a story on the Wissahickon Horse-lovers Organization for Adults (WHOA), when I took a break from the meeting and walked through the barn to clear my head. That’s when I saw Spot and a notice on his stall door that he was blind and that donations were being sought for his upkeep. The boarders at NWEF were carrying his load, which averaged about $500 per month. I wrote the story, sought donations, and placed a laminated copy of the article on his stall door. And then I visited him, and visited him, and visited him, and brought others to visit him. I took my good friend, Gina Pio Cossman, and her college age daughter to visit Spot. We ran him around in the ring and let him graze and groomed him. After interviewing Lisa Levinson, Zipora Shulz and Jim Harris for a story on their animal awareness group, Zipora and Jim asked if they could meet Spot. I took them to the stable and we fed Spot carrots. They giggled like little kids as his whiskers tickled the palms of their hands. They were very grateful to have connected. There were dozens of small children who would come up to me while I had Spot out to graze, and I showed them where he liked to be touched and told them his story.

Since I wasn’t riding regularly, I would carry horse treats in my car, along with some hard-toed boots, stopping in to see Spot several times a week. Sometimes I took him out, sometimes I groomed him in the barn. He was happy for the company. So was I. Everyone said how nice it was that I was giving him some attention; but they didn’t realize what he was giving me in terms of animal therapy. I had the honor of relating to this gorgeous animal, and on bad days rambling a bit about my woes. I got to stand with him in the sunlight and recharge from a hectic week as he grazed on green grass and we welcomed an occasional visitor. I got to groom him and smell like a horse for a couple of hours. I also got to write a lovely story about my friend. I got a lot from Spot.

I had written an initial draft of a story on Spot, and was returning to the barn with photographer Denize White-Christiansen, who lives around the block from me in Flourtown, when we stumbled upon a bigger and sweeter story. It was a Wednesday afternoon, and students from the Crefeld School were there on their weekly visit to take care of the horses. I talked to Gabe Pfeiffer, a 17-year old blind student who attends the school, and the article turned into one about what the sighted community needs to know about blind horses and people. He told me what would seem like common sense; don’t walk up behind a blind horse or person without announcing yourself softly. Spot, through Gabe, was still teaching.

This past Friday night I stopped by the stable after helping people get to ‘their stories’ during a Public Speaking Boot Camp for the Main Line Chamber of Commerce. I shared Spot’s story with the group and encouraged them to write down their stories about pets and people. It had been an exhausting day and week, and I really wanted to go home. But Spot’s spirit drew me toward NWEF. When I went in, I saw a sign on his stall stating that he should not be taken out of his stall unless Kathy, the barn manager, gave the okay. Not a good sign.

I tentatively knocked on her apartment door. Eventually, she opened it and told me that Spot had fallen earlier that day, and that they may have to put him down over the weekend. I went back down to his stall and groomed him from his head to hooves. He seemed to enjoy the grooming and didn’t seem to be in much distress. But the next morning I went to feed him apples and he wouldn’t eat them. He seemed scared and afraid to come close to the stall door. I told him he was a good horse and that if he had to go, we would understand. On Sunday morning, as I walked down the long aisle to his stall before the Wissahickon Day Parade and Horse Show, I was half expecting to find an empty stall – and frankly I was fine with that. The horse I had visited the previous day was not in good spirits, and I suspected he was in pain. Having been through this life/death scenario a few times with people and animals, I knew that putting an animal in distress down was the most humane thing to do; hard, yes – but also humane. Spot tentatively took some carrots from me, but it was clear he just wanted to be left alone. It was raining. I understood and let him be.

On Monday morning, I got a call from Denize asking me not to go to the barn until I had called her. I knew what this meant, and indeed, she broke the news, gently and lovingly. I told her I was okay and that I had said my goodbyes to him. Sometimes we aren’t so fortunate. She had not been so fortunate.
I later learned that Julie Goldberg, the Executive Director at NWEF, had spent the morning with Spot, giving him plenty of carrots, grass and love. His last moments were filled with mouthfuls of fresh grass, as she whispered to him and let him pass to the Rainbow Bridge.
When I got home at 3 pm, I did lose my composure when my sweet 9-year-old Golden Retriever, Simba, greeted me at the door with his tail wagging and a ball in his mouth. Simba (and Spot) made me realize that we only borrow these furry, hairy and feathered (and human) friends. We connect with them on so many levels, and one can only hope that when our time comes it will peacefully and that we had a chance to say our goodbyes.
Thank you to everyone at NWEF and beyond who took care of Spot for many, many years. I only knew him for a short time, but I am a much better person for having connected with him. Thank you to Len Lear and The Local for helping spread Spot’s story.
Thank you, Spot, for teaching us this final lesson about growing old with dignity and knowing when your time has come. You will always be a great lesson horse – and one who will be missed by many.

If you would like to make a donation to help pay for Spot’s final veterinary bills, please make checks payable to NWEF with Spot in the memo field, 120 W. Northwestern Avenue, Philadelphia, PA 19118.

Post Script: I had one green apple left in my Jeep. I always carried apples and carrots in the vehicle for Spot. Upon arriving at the barn late in the day after Spot had gone to the Rainbow Bridge, I decided to cut the apple in half and without thinking, gave half to Goober and half to Jasper, two horses who have no single owner – they too are lesson horses and owned by NWEF. The next day, Julie Goldberg e-mailed me to suggested I ‘don’t become and stranger’ and visit two other lesson horses in need of a little TLC. Their names: Goober and Jasper. Coincidence? You be the judge. I think Spot had a hand (or hoof) in it.

Barb and her Dad riding and storytelling

Verbal communication is very much a part of our monthly Public Speaking Boot Camps. So when my jaw dropped as I was giving participants their homework assignments for the follow-up session, I tried my best to force the it back into its proper place. The assignment was to develop a 5-minute presentation in which two stories were incorporated in order to make a point, plea, or pitch and connect with the audience. The dropped jaw scenario came about as the CEO of the Main Line Chamber of Commerce said she couldn’t think of any stories to tell. She turned to her staff and pleaded with them to come up with some stories for her.

I told her that I would develop an exercise or two to help her pull her stories out; and that I really didn’t want to hear other people’s stories during her talk. They had to be her own stories in order for the audience to connect with her. I then gave the group a sheet with the following questions in order to jog their memories and come up with some interesting stories to share.

Here are the questions:

Did you ever have liquid come out your nose from laughing and what caused it?

Nobody could come up with a liquid coming out of the nose story, so I started this one off. To this day I cannot look at orange soda and pepperoni pizza without thinking of it. My two older sisters and younger brother were having pizza one night. It was probably a Friday night, because that was typical Friday night fare. Anyway, my sister, Patrice, and my brother, Kevin got into an argument about who knows what. All I can remember is she threw a piece of pizza at him and he ducked. It hit the wall and stuck there. I was drinking orange soda at the time and laughed so hard it came out my nose. I have had other liquids (milk and water) come out my nose on two other occasions, but the soda and carbonation really hurt enough to leave a lasting impression – as did the greasy pizza on the wall!

Do you have an interesting story about how you were named or nicknamed?

Jane Butler of Accessible Home Health Care told the group that she was born in 1966 the year the Rolling stones came out with the song Lady Jane. Her father liked the song so much, that he insisted they call the new baby Jane, and to this day he calls her Lady Jane. Sweet.

Tell us a funny or sad story about your pet.
Scott Knutson shared a hair-raising story about his pet dog Alfie. When Scott was 12-years-old, Alfie was died of kidney failure.   A few days later, he was laying in bed and he felt something at his feet, where Alfie used to sleep. He turned on the light only to find the impression of Alfie’s body at the bottom of the bed. He remembers running in the bathroom and locking the door and not getting much sleep the rest of that night.  Alfie’s form was felt and an indentation made in the covers on a few more nights, but Scott fought through the fear and remained in bed with his buddy at his feet.

I then  told my audience about a book my father and I had written about his memories of life on the farm in South Jersey and riding in the local rodeos and my stories about riding horses. The book is titled: “The Cowboy Mission: The Best Sermons are Lived…Not Preached.” It is now in it’s 5th printing, as Dad is now selling it at flea markets and in the local pubs. Too funny – and what a great story!

I then suggested that they (and you) go to www.rememberswhen.com where there are 17 downloadable worksheets to help you get to your stories. I have since done a Memoir Writing workshop with a group of senior citizens at Tedwyn Apartments in Bryn Mawr using many of the techniques in the worksheets. They really helped get to the heart of people’s stories.

A woman by the name of Irene O’Connor shared a fabulous story she had submitted to the Philadelphia Daily News. I would like to share it with readers in its entirety.

War through a child’s eyes: When your town becomes the front lines
Submitted by Irene J. O’Connor

I grew up on the outskirts of a small town in Alsace, France. Our house was surrounded by meadows, woods, and in the distance by the Vosges Mountains.
When I was six years old, my job was to feed the hens. The only red hen we had became my pet.
In the summer of 1944 my perfect childhood suddenly came to an end. As I was looking out the kitchen window admiring the landscape, I could see an airplane approaching. As it came closer, I could hear the machine guns. My mother grabbed me and we ran down to the basement. Later on, we found bullet holes sprayed just below the kitchen window.
Sometime in October, some families had left their homes for a safer place. When our next door neighbor left, the Germans occupied their house. They did not bother us. Sometimes in the evening they would invite themselves over, just to talk. We were not German sympathizers but we tolerated them out of fear.
By mid-November the Germans ordered us to vacate our home because they wanted to install radio equipment. We left for a three-story building four blocks down the street.
When we arrived at the building, the Germans had already occupied it, but they let about 10 families use the basement. As time went on, it was difficult to get food. One day when a horse got killed in front of the building, once again we had food. Because of the unsanitary conditions that developed, we wound up with fleas and lice with no medicine to be had.
As the weeks continued, bombs fell all around us. The noise was deafening, the building shook and for the first time I trembled. I thought we were going to die.
In May 1945, as the war was coming to an end, the French surrounded the building. One German soldier went berserk and attached hand grenades all over his body. He was ready to blow himself up and the building but his commanding officer talked him out of it.
As other German soldiers were brought to the building, one smug soldier came in carrying my pet hen. I leaped toward him, screaming “GIVE ME MY HEN! GIVE ME MY HEN!” He was ordered to give me back my hen.
As we left the building to go back home, we saw for the first time the devastation of war. It was heartbreaking.
Our house had a big hole in the roof from mortar shells. It was right over my bedroom. It was a blessing that we weren’t there at the time.
Also after the war, General Charles DeGaulle came through many of the towns to inspect the destruction. As he came past our street I waved to him and he waved right back.
The war affected me for a lifetime.

While the world was crumbling around her, it was her hen that she – and the listener – really cared about. Oh, the power of stories. Please share some of your own.

Barbara Sherf is a writer, speech coach, and storyteller. You can contact her by calling 215-233-8022 or e-mailing Barb@CommunicationsPro.com.

My good friend and mentor, Karen Horowitz calls the kind of day I had today ‘a magical day.’ Some days are like that. You connect in person with people, and horses and animals.

It is a Tuesday…and despite it being a ‘work day’ I slept in. After reading the paper and doing some e-mails, it was off to the Whitemarsh Business Association, where my business partner in speech coaching, D. Mike Smith, and I connected with 30 or so individuals on a number of levels.

We gave a networking talk that was a bit different, I suspect, from the rest. It had to do with asking individuals what they needed and also tried to get to their Sparkle Spot. I credit Neen James, an Australian women who spoke recently at the Main Line Chamber’s Society of Professional Women lunch about networking and finding out what the person you are networking with is impassioned about. It could be cooking or horse back riding or dogs or kids or none of the above. I thought James was brilliant in trying to get folks to identify someone’s ‘Sparkle Spot’ instead of going with the ‘What’s In It For Me’ attitude.

So here we were, 30 or so mostly small business owners, finding each others ‘Sparkle Spots’ and asking how we could help each other – instead of selling each other on our services. Indeed, it was magical.

From there I went to take a publicity photo for the local Rotary to help publicize their Hearts for Haiti fundraiser (February 24th at 5 pm at Scoogi’s in Flourtown).

As I listened to the storm predictions, I tried to figure out what to do with the rest of the afternoon. A good brisk walk was a priority, but first, a stop at Lee’s Produce in Conshohocken. For some, preparing for a storm means going out to the Acme for eggs, milk and bread. For me, it’s good quality produce and at an affordable price.

After having another friendly exchange with Cecilia at the checkout, I realized that it was getting dark and my need for walk would have to come next.

Just around the corner from Lee’s, I noticed St. Matthew’s Cemetery was freshly plowed and pulled in on a whim. It was a good gut instinct and the magic continued.

Initially I started my power walk, but something interesting happened after that first lap. I started reading the grave markers. I saw a marker with the birth and death dates for a 6-year old boy. Sadly, his parents birth dates were engraved, however, it appeared they were still alive because there was no death date. How sad and how beautiful- a Sparkle Spot of sorts.

Then I veered off of the blacktop to the newly dug grave of Agnes Scharff. The flowers were fresh and clearly she had been buried this same day. I said a prayer for her. Then I saw balloons and a freshly shoveled path to a grave in the center of the cemetery. It was clear the balloons had been left earlier in the day. So while so many were frantically out getting their salt and gearing up for a second storm, others were doing what they had to do – to remember their loved ones. There was a hand carved plaque on one of the graves with the following saying: “If tears could build a stairway, and memories a lane…I’d walk right up to Heaven and bring you home again.” Sparkle Spot.

From there, I went to see Spot who is my ‘Sparkle Spot.’ Spot is a blind horse who has taught me so many lessons in terms of trust and living in the moment. I almost didn’t stop, because I was dressed in my business attire and I didn’t have treats for him. I dug deep in my jacket and pulled out a mint (horses love sugar and mints) and decided it was worth the effort – and to hell with the clothes –that is what dry cleaners are for.

So I stopped to ‘see’ my Sparkle Spot. I gave him the singular mint and whispered sweet nothings into his ear, and he whinnied and ate up the affection. Then I took him out of his stall and took his blanket off and groomed him from head to hoof. I continued to tell him what a special boy he was (and is – he’s nearly 30 and had been a lesson horse at Northwestern Stables for years, before he lost his sight.) I also told him I was sorry I didn’t have more treats for him. That is when a young girl, grooming her horse heard me and offered that she had a spare apple in the tack room–manna from heaven. I could have and should have kissed her. Instead, I grabbed the apple and kissed Spot – all over his head and mane. He lavished in his treat. It was a magical moment.

When I got home, I opened the mail and found our annual Valentine’s Day card from our dear friends from Marblehead, Massachusetts. I thought it was too early for it to arrive, but opened it anyway. Inside, was not only their special Valentine greeting, but 10 more cards to “pass it on” or “play it on” to others. Wow. What a gift. Inspired by them, I had sat down over the weekend storm to develop some handmade Valentine’s Day cards, but realized I had fallen short. So now I had a new stash at my disposal to give to family and friends. What a novel idea.

As the day ends, I am preparing for Storm II by putting together yet another crock pot full of odds and ends to make into s sumptuous soup. My husband, Brad, will plow out the neighbors tomorrow and I will follow him with salt and soup helping out elderly neighbors. Indeed, a magical snow fell with glimmering sparkle spots to warm the soul.

Barbara Sherf is a speech coach, publicist and writer. You can reach her at Barb@CommunicationsPro.com or call 215-233-8022.

by Barbara L. Sherf

You’re either guilty, or you’ve been in a room when someone did one of these.

1) Reading bullet points from a slide.  (Hello, I have a college degree and we are avid readers.)  Tell us a story that goes with the bullet point, or use an example to make the point.  DO NOT READ YOUR POWERPOINT BULLET.  PERIOD.

2) Using photographs and clip art in the same presentation.  When in doubt, go with actual photographs instead of drippy Microsoft clip art.  We are in 2010.

3) Don’t Over Animate! Some animation can liven up a PPT, but know when to say when.  Have a colleague or speech coach critique your animation to tell you when enough is enough.

4) Practice, Practice, Practice – on somebody else, not me.  Don’t give a talk you haven’t given before to your target audience.  Find a group or a video camera to practice on to figure out what works and what doesn’t.  Get thee to a Toastmasters, a speech coach, or even the local nursing home to find an audience to practice in front of!  Just do it.

5) Do not stand in front of the beam of light coming from the projector.  Trust us, it just doesn’t look good…you are squinting and have text on your face.  Stand to one side or the other and face your audience.

6) Learn to troubleshoot your technology.  How many times have you seen a speaker not know how to set up the projector and then give a talk while looking off of their laptop.  One is too many!

7) Get advocates in the audience early on.  Assign someone the task of being your timer, your lighting person, your technical troubleshooter.  Do not get up and ask for volunteers once your talk begins.  Go over non-verbal cues with your timer to know whether to stretch or close your presentation.

Do use a formal evaluation form.  Participants will not give you corrective criticism to your face, but will do so if they are anonymous.

9) Graphs and charts that you can’t read on screen.  If you really feel the need to add a graph or chart, then use it as a handout or keep it simple on screen.

10) Using a variety of fonts and size fonts in one slide. Pick one easy to use font (Arial) and stick with it.  Period.

11) Use of too small of a font.  Use a 24 font size as a minimum.  Bigger is better.

12) Too many bullet points or information per slide.  Four bullet points tops.  Don’t write out a whole paragraph onscreen.  Learn to use and print your notes field.

13) Less is More: Give us the basic overview.  If we want more information, we will enroll in the second session…or seek out your consulting services on our own.  When we ask what time it is, don’t try to show us how you made the watch.

14) Lighter backgrounds are easier on the eyes (and the printer).  A dark background weighs everyone down.  Lighten it up and you’ll save your and our color ink cartridges and the environment.

15) Use your company logo and footer sparingly.  While we understand your need to have this on every slide, does it really need to overpower your message?  It should be seen subliminally, but not heard (or shouted) at the audience.

16) Decide early on whether you are going to take questions as you go, or hold them until the end.  We prefer the latter.  So many audiences jump around and ahead.  Set the ground rules early on and stick with them.

17) Don’t co-present with someone you are not comfortable with: IT SHOWS.  Big time.  You must have a certain comfort factor and chemistry with an individual you are going to get up on stage with.  If you don’t, go solo.  (see #4)

18) Involve your audience along the way.  We suggest investing in the Sharon Bowman book “How To Prevent Death by Lecture.”  Sharon is all about audience involvement…and so are we!

19) Please put your presentation through a spellchecker.  Once we see a typo, we are not paying attention to your message, but looking for other typos the whole time.  It’s annoying.  Thank you.

20) We again offer an evaluation form for those who don’t have one.  It’s free.  Learn from your mistakes.  That’s the only way you will become a better speaker (other than a bit of speech coaching, that is).

www.CommunicationsPro.com Copyright 2010 CommunicationsPro

Recently, a Good Samaritan did just that – for me. I was at a specialty food store and had just checked out a $75 order of holiday goodies. As I swiped my card, the cashier explained that in order to keep their prices down, they accepted only cash and debit cards. My face flushed. I had $40 cash with me and had left my purse at home, hoping to ease my burden and not such a heavy load while shopping. I stood there wondering what to put back and how to do so without holding up the line. That is when the woman behind me asked how much I needed? At first a look of shock came over my face, and then the realization that she was offering money to a complete and total stranger.
I quickly did the math and said “$35, but are you sure?” Her response was: “Yes, absolutely. Are you sure you don’t need more?”
Still in awe of this act of kindness, I checked out and then waited for her to check out before giving her my business card and getting her contact information, vowing to send a check once I got home. I told this story to family and friends throughout the week, and they were also somewhat shocked that this woman placed her trust in me.
“You look trustworthy,” said the cashier, as the transaction was taking place. Was it the fact that I had my reusable bags and was dressed in business attire, having come from a meeting? Had I been wearing my paint-splattered sweat suit and baseball cap, would I have been treated differently? Somehow I suspect not. I later drove by this woman’s home, and found that it was not a mansion by any means, but a typical split level Colonial with probably a middle class couple or family living in it.
As the holiday rush is upon us, I am taking a moment to reflect on the genuinely good, trusting people out there, who would dig into their wallet and hand over $35 to a complete stranger. I’m not sure I would have done the same before this encounter, but now I know that I would do the same – unconditionally – in the future. Would you?

Some of the original members

That is the informal name of a group of women meeting up once a month at one Goddess’ home to network, nosh, and enjoy some good wine.

I take partial credit for the first gathering.  A client, Maria Hasenecz, President of Livable Landscapes, was looking for ways to grow her business.  I suggested she show off her lovely garden and invite women in home-related industries.  So we invited an arborist, an interior designer, an architect, a home remodeler, a photographer…and me – a communications consultant. The garden party was a huge success and the gatherings have continued and scope of the group has expanded.

We have branched out to include a realtor or two, a wine importer, a financial advisor, a sculptor, a tile maker, a storyteller and a florist.

The idea of women getting together to bond, discuss common small business issues, and just relax and learn a bit about each other is not a new one.  But in these times of social networking and connecting to others via LinkedIn, Facebook and My Space, the ability to connect in person is most refreshing.

I am interested in hearing how you meet up in person to network and bond with others.  Please send me a comment for posting.